So here I am sitting in a cafeteria far far away from home. There is no turning back any more. College in a new city is a big deal but the question is do I miss my family?
Tbh I was waiting for this, to get out of all the troubles and start a new life. This is not exactly like starting a new life but I have control on myself and no one else has, so its more than enough for now.
I remember when I used to get upset about the family chaoses, I would think about going elsewhere. ITS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE!
This month last year, I was in a state of taking my life. I tried to kill myself but I couldn’t instead, I broke the mirror in anger.
Though I had to pay a huge price for that I got four stitches in my arm and I got them without anaesthesia. It was more than a painful experience. It did make me afraid and the next time if I ever think of doing such thing then I’ll probably think about my arm a million times.
This place is wonderful. But the best feeling is living here all by yourself. Here I will create boundaries for myself. I’ll determine whats right or wrong. But the most important thing is that it will keep myself distracted for my parents thought of getting a divorce.
Yes, my parents are going to get a divorce. I’m totally for it but its just that who want their parents to get separated. Somewhere inside I hope and I pray that my father realises his mistake and mom forgives him, though he did things that are not to be forgiven. If for once my family was normal.
Then my family would have been great. More than great, wonderful!
My father is a genius man. He is well informed about everything and on the other hand my mother is a sweet and bubbly personality person. If they would have ever get along they would have been an incredible couple.
Thinking all this is hopeless. This is something that willl never ever happen. Because my father has too much ego and self-respect to maintain and mom is just helpless.
There is nothing that i can do about it.
There was a time when i used to tell everyone that I’ll never get married. This once an aunt of mine asked if I did not wanted to get married because of my parents marriage failure. That day I realised it was true, I was afraid to end up where my mom is now. From that day I decided I ‘ll overcome this fear, I’ll not end up like my mom. I’ll do better.